A level results
I'm late in announcing my A level results. LOL. Not because I was ashamed of it, but because I needed time to get my bearing before I blog again. I openly declared my A level results on my MSN Personal Message. There's hardly any regrets, or I don't allow myself to regret, either way, its the same to me.
GP - C
Literature - D
Biology - D
Maths - E
Chem - E
So, according to my H2 subjects, I got a DEE. I'm not so optimistic to think that I can get into a university with my results. Especially since Psychology seems like such a popular option this year.
I think, in some ways, the weight of the results haven't really fully hit me yet. I'm not asking to be the best, I like competition, but not as much as I faced the past 2 or so years. I think, in a way, I gave myself too much excuses. I spent most of my time complaining about the education system, and the unfairness of whatever, without really stopping to think of how I can change it. Its not anybody's fault but mine. However, I'm choosing to look at it as a lesson, a painful lesson, but a lesson nonetheless. I won't be in a hurry to make the same mistake again, that's for sure.
Sometimes, I feel like crying, I look at my results, and I think to myself, that I failed. For the first time, I failed in a major examination. And the worse thing is that I didn't fail a thing. BCDDEE is a pass, I passed everything. But DEE as H2 subjects, I won't be able to enter any course probably. But I still passed.
LOL, the first thing I said when I saw my results.. *HEY! I passed! XD*. Then I saw my results carefully... E's, not good, D's expected. Where's that B I wanted for GP?! o.0. Then.. that's when I started crying and soaking Kari's shirt. LOL. Oh well. Crying's over. Crying won't change what happened. I passed a very low pass. I just need to do what I have to do. I've already thought it out the past week. I submitted my application for Uni at the NUS portal as it is. Nothing left to lose after all. I'll apply for retaking the A levels, the exact same subjects. Then I'll apply for SATs 2 if I have time, and that's me all set. I'll work this year, and afterwhich, I'll take the exams at the end of this year and see how it is.
Its a weird feeling, really. I don't have school, I'm waiting to enter into my next contract for work. I just have to self study. Never before have I appreciated school as much as I do now. For the past decade and a half, school was all I've known. Life was set in that sense. I wake up, go to school, get home, do homework, and slack. I always had school. be in in Singapore, England or Scotland. Its ALWAYS the same, school. I looked forward to breaks and holidays, and made the usual excuses for homework not done. I smiled when I got A's and I promised to do better if I failed (not so much in the past few years, but that happened alot in the UK).
I'm not sure where went wrong. I was SO ambitious. I wanted to be the best in the school, I actually did my homework, I studied hard, and not only that, I ENJOYED studying hard. That was in the UK. I came back to Singapore, and suddenly, I wasn't so good anymore. I got thrown into the Normal Academic stream, coz nobody thought I was good. I went to express, and from there, everything went downhill. O levels was just a stroke of really good luck.
I'm not too sure where that love of learning went to. Now, its like, I feel so loose. No school, no pressure. Just work, do my own things, and retake the exams. I feel slightly lost, without the constant guidance of the teachers I've taken for granted the majority of my life thus far. What's worse was the look on my teacher's face when I took my results. It was disappointment, pure and simple. I don't like people being disappointed in me, and what's worse, I don't like being disappointed in myself.
I seem to have lost my way academically the past 6-7 years, and I didn';t realise it until this ONE result. The DEE. It woke me up.
Results isn't the world. I know that, I've been telling myself that for the past few weeks. I am more than that. My personality, the way I carry myself, the way I talk, the way I relate to others. That's me. That's the true me. Not the 6 letters on my result slips.
Nobody goes through life without falling. I've been lucky so far to not suffer a big 'fall'. This A level results isn't even a big fall, its just a minor stumble. I'll pick myself back up and retake it and try to conquer it. I just hope I'm strong enough for it. I have to be, this is life, there will be far more things to face, far worse with far more at stake. This will be my trial run.
I'll post more next time about my trip to malaysia, as well as the sleepover at Azu's house =).
GP - C
Literature - D
Biology - D
Maths - E
Chem - E
So, according to my H2 subjects, I got a DEE. I'm not so optimistic to think that I can get into a university with my results. Especially since Psychology seems like such a popular option this year.
I think, in some ways, the weight of the results haven't really fully hit me yet. I'm not asking to be the best, I like competition, but not as much as I faced the past 2 or so years. I think, in a way, I gave myself too much excuses. I spent most of my time complaining about the education system, and the unfairness of whatever, without really stopping to think of how I can change it. Its not anybody's fault but mine. However, I'm choosing to look at it as a lesson, a painful lesson, but a lesson nonetheless. I won't be in a hurry to make the same mistake again, that's for sure.
Sometimes, I feel like crying, I look at my results, and I think to myself, that I failed. For the first time, I failed in a major examination. And the worse thing is that I didn't fail a thing. BCDDEE is a pass, I passed everything. But DEE as H2 subjects, I won't be able to enter any course probably. But I still passed.
LOL, the first thing I said when I saw my results.. *HEY! I passed! XD*. Then I saw my results carefully... E's, not good, D's expected. Where's that B I wanted for GP?! o.0. Then.. that's when I started crying and soaking Kari's shirt. LOL. Oh well. Crying's over. Crying won't change what happened. I passed a very low pass. I just need to do what I have to do. I've already thought it out the past week. I submitted my application for Uni at the NUS portal as it is. Nothing left to lose after all. I'll apply for retaking the A levels, the exact same subjects. Then I'll apply for SATs 2 if I have time, and that's me all set. I'll work this year, and afterwhich, I'll take the exams at the end of this year and see how it is.
Its a weird feeling, really. I don't have school, I'm waiting to enter into my next contract for work. I just have to self study. Never before have I appreciated school as much as I do now. For the past decade and a half, school was all I've known. Life was set in that sense. I wake up, go to school, get home, do homework, and slack. I always had school. be in in Singapore, England or Scotland. Its ALWAYS the same, school. I looked forward to breaks and holidays, and made the usual excuses for homework not done. I smiled when I got A's and I promised to do better if I failed (not so much in the past few years, but that happened alot in the UK).
I'm not sure where went wrong. I was SO ambitious. I wanted to be the best in the school, I actually did my homework, I studied hard, and not only that, I ENJOYED studying hard. That was in the UK. I came back to Singapore, and suddenly, I wasn't so good anymore. I got thrown into the Normal Academic stream, coz nobody thought I was good. I went to express, and from there, everything went downhill. O levels was just a stroke of really good luck.
I'm not too sure where that love of learning went to. Now, its like, I feel so loose. No school, no pressure. Just work, do my own things, and retake the exams. I feel slightly lost, without the constant guidance of the teachers I've taken for granted the majority of my life thus far. What's worse was the look on my teacher's face when I took my results. It was disappointment, pure and simple. I don't like people being disappointed in me, and what's worse, I don't like being disappointed in myself.
I seem to have lost my way academically the past 6-7 years, and I didn';t realise it until this ONE result. The DEE. It woke me up.
Results isn't the world. I know that, I've been telling myself that for the past few weeks. I am more than that. My personality, the way I carry myself, the way I talk, the way I relate to others. That's me. That's the true me. Not the 6 letters on my result slips.
Nobody goes through life without falling. I've been lucky so far to not suffer a big 'fall'. This A level results isn't even a big fall, its just a minor stumble. I'll pick myself back up and retake it and try to conquer it. I just hope I'm strong enough for it. I have to be, this is life, there will be far more things to face, far worse with far more at stake. This will be my trial run.
I'll post more next time about my trip to malaysia, as well as the sleepover at Azu's house =).
posted by Icicle | 2:41 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home